no offence to any HSS or NBS ppl.. haha found this drawing at the back of my lect notes. lol. randomness during lecture...
Sunday, November 29, 2009
die.. even zl is ahead of me. haha actually no matter what, i guess i'll be ready to dian di. fifteen percent is a lot i guess. having to retake it another sem is a painful thing just the thought alone. but if that slaps me awake and shakes me bk to the studious old me, maybe it's a blessing in disguise. haha dont know why but secretly there's this tiny hope in me wishing i'll tabao it. lol...
GXJ last 2 episodes tonight! with that i mean being aired in hk. so by the time it gets upload on tudou, will be ard 130am... cant watch that tonight cos tmr morning got a battle (that's 90% lost) to fight. but guess it's enough to console the traumatised me when i get bk home tmr! :D
looking forward to sat... i'll have ktv with my cousins in afternoon.. then another session with farrago-ians at night. woosh! what a great way to celeb end of exams:D
ok now last struggle before the zzzz monster comes find me and when i finally surrender the long awful struggle with ae2005...
GXJ last 2 episodes tonight! with that i mean being aired in hk. so by the time it gets upload on tudou, will be ard 130am... cant watch that tonight cos tmr morning got a battle (that's 90% lost) to fight. but guess it's enough to console the traumatised me when i get bk home tmr! :D
looking forward to sat... i'll have ktv with my cousins in afternoon.. then another session with farrago-ians at night. woosh! what a great way to celeb end of exams:D
ok now last struggle before the zzzz monster comes find me and when i finally surrender the long awful struggle with ae2005...
Saturday, November 28, 2009
my sis trying out her no. 1 uniform she gonna wear during her commissioning. look quite smart. she got best trainee. proud of her. envious of her. jealous of her.
she's doing so well in sth that she likes so much. and me? doing so badly in sth that i don't like.
haiya! whatever. studying while waiting for my GXJ to be uploaded on tudou.
she's doing so well in sth that she likes so much. and me? doing so badly in sth that i don't like.
haiya! whatever. studying while waiting for my GXJ to be uploaded on tudou.
MUSIC
music rocks my world. when i'm on the go, studying, relaxing, sad, happy... music is always with me! hows life like without it? hmmm... listening to great songs now... from the 90's... think chinese songs from that time is the best. now all the songs... either singers cant sing and merely chant the lyrics or rap too much or sound so alike to one another or simply not nice. haha of course got a few exceptions la but still... love the old songs. esp for english songs .. the older the better.
yup realise have been blogging a lot. guess its the exams. haha whenever i cant focus, yet dont want to play games or watch videos.. i'll blog then tweet then read ppl blogs... its another form of relieving stress i guess. i just eed to say somethings to somebody somewhere. haha
as u can see its a lighter post... nothing about how little i've studied for ae2005. cos its alrdy there. face the music with a lighter heart... see! 'music' is EVERYWHERE. LOL!
music rocks my world. when i'm on the go, studying, relaxing, sad, happy... music is always with me! hows life like without it? hmmm... listening to great songs now... from the 90's... think chinese songs from that time is the best. now all the songs... either singers cant sing and merely chant the lyrics or rap too much or sound so alike to one another or simply not nice. haha of course got a few exceptions la but still... love the old songs. esp for english songs .. the older the better.
yup realise have been blogging a lot. guess its the exams. haha whenever i cant focus, yet dont want to play games or watch videos.. i'll blog then tweet then read ppl blogs... its another form of relieving stress i guess. i just eed to say somethings to somebody somewhere. haha
as u can see its a lighter post... nothing about how little i've studied for ae2005. cos its alrdy there. face the music with a lighter heart... see! 'music' is EVERYWHERE. LOL!
another day gone. slightly better than ystd. at least i did study a bit. but the keyword is " a bit". haha
really afraid i'll tabao ae2005 given that my 15% is gone. hmmm seriously i think i'll calmly accept that if that happens. just that i scared i cant take ae2003 next sem then everything kana push bk.
oh wells keep trying jingru
you know the whole world's behind u :D
sometimes the bad thing about being noucturnal is that
we tend to get a bit emo/ think too much in the darkness of the night
and sometimes.. u just happen to pop into my head
but not so much of a bad thing now
at least it keeps my spirits up :)
really afraid i'll tabao ae2005 given that my 15% is gone. hmmm seriously i think i'll calmly accept that if that happens. just that i scared i cant take ae2003 next sem then everything kana push bk.
oh wells keep trying jingru
you know the whole world's behind u :D
sometimes the bad thing about being noucturnal is that
we tend to get a bit emo/ think too much in the darkness of the night
and sometimes.. u just happen to pop into my head
but not so much of a bad thing now
at least it keeps my spirits up :)
Friday, November 27, 2009
wanted to whine in this post. but decided not to.
i shall not lament about the lack of time becos i've been playing too much these 2 days.
i shall not complain about how little i've touched on aerody revision becos i slacked too much during the sem.
i shall not compare myself with the rest becos i dont want to get depressed.
i will face the music. i will squeeze the little amount of concentration available inside me. i will make good use of the momentary focus i have every now and then. i will smile and approach the exam on monday. after mon, i think i'll be less stressed up cos the killers are done.
yup good nite world and happy studying jingru :)
i shall not lament about the lack of time becos i've been playing too much these 2 days.
i shall not complain about how little i've touched on aerody revision becos i slacked too much during the sem.
i shall not compare myself with the rest becos i dont want to get depressed.
i will face the music. i will squeeze the little amount of concentration available inside me. i will make good use of the momentary focus i have every now and then. i will smile and approach the exam on monday. after mon, i think i'll be less stressed up cos the killers are done.
yup good nite world and happy studying jingru :)
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
my house is freaky HOT! :( and the old lan-pok aircon is not working v well so nv switch on... rarhh! so what have i done this whole day? tidied my desk becos all the papers from all modules is everywhere! now look so neat:D but that's all! thats ALL that I've done! wasted another day.... guess tonight no sleep again... need to compensate for the time lost.
and i hate aerody. not mention how wrong i am in this course. ha. nvm 9 more days b4 i can rest for 5 weeks and before everything starts all over again! lol
had a horrible dinner (some lousy horfun from downstairs.. really lousy) bearly ate 10% of it? nvm later can eat my newest fav snacks : calbee potato strips! come in a cup packaging v cute and v yunmmy:D although i know v fattening too!
ok toking about fats i am seriously going to exercise after exams! my tummy is growing literally. if i wore a tight fitting shirt and board the mrt, ppl might give up their seat to me! I AM SERIOUS. haha so no more tight tops these days....
aiya feeling tired and headache agagin. must be the weather. oh wells.
and i hate aerody. not mention how wrong i am in this course. ha. nvm 9 more days b4 i can rest for 5 weeks and before everything starts all over again! lol
had a horrible dinner (some lousy horfun from downstairs.. really lousy) bearly ate 10% of it? nvm later can eat my newest fav snacks : calbee potato strips! come in a cup packaging v cute and v yunmmy:D although i know v fattening too!
ok toking about fats i am seriously going to exercise after exams! my tummy is growing literally. if i wore a tight fitting shirt and board the mrt, ppl might give up their seat to me! I AM SERIOUS. haha so no more tight tops these days....
aiya feeling tired and headache agagin. must be the weather. oh wells.
Monday, November 16, 2009
PANIC!
I'M NOT ON TIME FOR MY REVISION! FRI'S MOM PAPER I HAVENT START AT ALL. AND CIRCUITS IS MAKING NO HEADWAY.. FRENCH AND FORENSIC LUMPED TGT WITH CIRCUITS PAPER AND I'M NOT STARTING YET!
i rmb i wrote a post last sem during my exams that i'll nv take 5 cores again at a go,i'll nv end up as stressed as last sem bcos i screwed up all the tutorials, i'll nv repeat my mistake. apparently i did not fulfil the promise to myself! :(
time stop pls stop pls stop pls stop pls stop pls stop pls
I'M NOT ON TIME FOR MY REVISION! FRI'S MOM PAPER I HAVENT START AT ALL. AND CIRCUITS IS MAKING NO HEADWAY.. FRENCH AND FORENSIC LUMPED TGT WITH CIRCUITS PAPER AND I'M NOT STARTING YET!
i rmb i wrote a post last sem during my exams that i'll nv take 5 cores again at a go,i'll nv end up as stressed as last sem bcos i screwed up all the tutorials, i'll nv repeat my mistake. apparently i did not fulfil the promise to myself! :(
time stop pls stop pls stop pls stop pls stop pls stop pls
Friday, November 13, 2009
In the wee hours...
yup 330am now.. haha still not asleep yet. actually just got bk home at 2am. haha was in school studying. no choice home is not a conducive place to mug.
sally just tok to me on msn. haha she asked "havent sleep?" haha and like what she said -- sleep is for the weak. lol. one more week to first paper with no school! how good is that? full force ahead, i promise myself. well at least i promised yongki i'll do my best for the final exam in my reply to him that i'll not hand in my CA. haha
was looking thru my videos... saw the one i made for haiting b4 she went to aust to study. wow so long nv see her... and kind of miss all my friends. inside or outside s'pore... sec , jc, kpmg clique... haha exams exams hurry over!
back to bipolar junction transistors...
少了恋爱 心灵也许会有些空虚 寂寞 渴望
但也少了顾虑 心烦 失望 难过
out of sight out of mind?
i'm happy by myself now :)
yup 330am now.. haha still not asleep yet. actually just got bk home at 2am. haha was in school studying. no choice home is not a conducive place to mug.
sally just tok to me on msn. haha she asked "havent sleep?" haha and like what she said -- sleep is for the weak. lol. one more week to first paper with no school! how good is that? full force ahead, i promise myself. well at least i promised yongki i'll do my best for the final exam in my reply to him that i'll not hand in my CA. haha
was looking thru my videos... saw the one i made for haiting b4 she went to aust to study. wow so long nv see her... and kind of miss all my friends. inside or outside s'pore... sec , jc, kpmg clique... haha exams exams hurry over!
back to bipolar junction transistors...
少了恋爱 心灵也许会有些空虚 寂寞 渴望
但也少了顾虑 心烦 失望 难过
out of sight out of mind?
i'm happy by myself now :)
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
NOT ME-
just a few mins ago, i officially forfeited 15% of one of my modules because i nv hand in ANYTHING for my CA assignment. "huh? sure not? u must be bluffing? i dun believe.." well this is perhaps the most daring thing i've ever done to my studies in all my 20 yrs .. like... ok i am super guai student in primary school... then by some luck one of the top students in sec schl and i didn't fare badly in jc... just that in uni, there is lack of self discipline on my part and overwhelming of non academic stuff like cca, tuition and fatigue from travelling from east to west everyday.. i'm just getting a bit NOT ME. haha i am stressed but its not the RARRH BOOM erruption kind. its hidden inside of me, releasing a little by a little...
ok maybe some of ya dont know me that well. but if u ask any of my sec school friends.. "jingru hand in a blank for her CA thats like 15%?" oh ya and not forgetting i actually wrote "sorry i really dont know how to do" on another module's CA paper. haha i can guarantee NO ONE will ever believe that. trust me. they must be thinking i must be crazy or sick.
well i hope i am not. but i am kind of relieved the deadline is past. whats done cannot be undone and i dont need to hang on to that tiny thread of hope that a miracle can happen when i am suddenly enlightened on how to do matlab. its really not that i want to give up. its not i gave up w/o trying. i gave up precisely bcos i tried. i really dont know how to do and even if i want to edit my senior's copy and hand in, i dont even know how to edit. its like some ppl can NEVER visualise 3D surfaces/diagrams for certain math questions or some ppl just cant get permutations and combinations right. its just BLANK. into my face. helpless.i dont know how to say.
ok its over yes its over. i alrdy thot of what to reply to my prof if he email to ask about it. haha
today is a v v v plain day at school nothing eventful. i was dead tired having only 3 hours of sleep but i managed to stay awake in MOM. i was neither in a v good or v bad mood. i had my french oral. laughed my fair share with friends. studied my fair share for revision. hmmm. not a bad day.
and now an early night.. 6 hours of sleep:)
tomorrow is another day.
just a few mins ago, i officially forfeited 15% of one of my modules because i nv hand in ANYTHING for my CA assignment. "huh? sure not? u must be bluffing? i dun believe.." well this is perhaps the most daring thing i've ever done to my studies in all my 20 yrs .. like... ok i am super guai student in primary school... then by some luck one of the top students in sec schl and i didn't fare badly in jc... just that in uni, there is lack of self discipline on my part and overwhelming of non academic stuff like cca, tuition and fatigue from travelling from east to west everyday.. i'm just getting a bit NOT ME. haha i am stressed but its not the RARRH BOOM erruption kind. its hidden inside of me, releasing a little by a little...
ok maybe some of ya dont know me that well. but if u ask any of my sec school friends.. "jingru hand in a blank for her CA thats like 15%?" oh ya and not forgetting i actually wrote "sorry i really dont know how to do" on another module's CA paper. haha i can guarantee NO ONE will ever believe that. trust me. they must be thinking i must be crazy or sick.
well i hope i am not. but i am kind of relieved the deadline is past. whats done cannot be undone and i dont need to hang on to that tiny thread of hope that a miracle can happen when i am suddenly enlightened on how to do matlab. its really not that i want to give up. its not i gave up w/o trying. i gave up precisely bcos i tried. i really dont know how to do and even if i want to edit my senior's copy and hand in, i dont even know how to edit. its like some ppl can NEVER visualise 3D surfaces/diagrams for certain math questions or some ppl just cant get permutations and combinations right. its just BLANK. into my face. helpless.i dont know how to say.
ok its over yes its over. i alrdy thot of what to reply to my prof if he email to ask about it. haha
today is a v v v plain day at school nothing eventful. i was dead tired having only 3 hours of sleep but i managed to stay awake in MOM. i was neither in a v good or v bad mood. i had my french oral. laughed my fair share with friends. studied my fair share for revision. hmmm. not a bad day.
and now an early night.. 6 hours of sleep:)
tomorrow is another day.
Monday, November 9, 2009
FRIENDS
was at old can a then weiqin just asked me to at least try matlab. cos she heard i told kaye i not planning to hand in anything. i had said i gave up a lot of times long time ago but maybe she nv thot i'll be serious about it. suddenly feel slightly motivated to at least open up the program and play around with it before dinner. haha
life in uni will be horrible without friends... without geek's geeky talk and irritating attempts to wake me up during lectures and ugly scribbling on my notes OR without jas's a-bit-lesbian love and weird claims over me as her property and irrational matchmaking with cybrogs OR without both their irritating/amusing provocations trying to make me meaner ... haha
just wanna thank u 2 making my life in aero less terrible than it alrdy is :)
and yes i am going to try (try only) to look thru the matlab assignment. haha
was at old can a then weiqin just asked me to at least try matlab. cos she heard i told kaye i not planning to hand in anything. i had said i gave up a lot of times long time ago but maybe she nv thot i'll be serious about it. suddenly feel slightly motivated to at least open up the program and play around with it before dinner. haha
life in uni will be horrible without friends... without geek's geeky talk and irritating attempts to wake me up during lectures and ugly scribbling on my notes OR without jas's a-bit-lesbian love and weird claims over me as her property and irrational matchmaking with cybrogs OR without both their irritating/amusing provocations trying to make me meaner ... haha
just wanna thank u 2 making my life in aero less terrible than it alrdy is :)
and yes i am going to try (try only) to look thru the matlab assignment. haha
Moment of weakness-
我没有你们想象中的那么坚强
我只是擅长伪装 掩饰
yes i am v pissed now. about myself. one more step and i'm gonna break down. seems that this kind of moments are getting more common in my life. uni studies sucks. totally. i desperately think i am in the wrong course. i hate theories. i hate formulas principles book-dead contents. i should have gone to poly.perhaps learn a skill like cooking or baking or photography or design. i would have been much happier. just now my mum just asked if i regret joining this course. what should i say. ugly truth.
was looking at the info from monash and some uk/usa uni. realy want to go for exchange. yet i know its really ex. near 10k thats excluding airfare. when i mention the amount to my mum, she coldly asked why do i have to go? whats good about exchange? obviously she doesn't want me to go. money matters. just like why the insane guy on the news front page who killed his children before suiciding bcos he's in deep debt. watever. money makes the world go round. and round and round until everyone is insane. reason for going exchange: i want to escape from studies. u can S/U the cores for that whole sem. do u know how good that is? i mean i am really struggling. even if i do understnad some of the stuff i am studying, i am doing so with great effort and stress and misery and agony.
sometimes i really just feel like giving up. quit school. its not a matter of whether i can do it. deep down inside i know i can if i work hard i should be able to manage a second upper. but thats not the point, cos i know if i did, i will be v v v unhappy in the process of trying. yet happiness is not all that i shld consider. future, career, money. the world is just so realistic practical.
i'm really afraid i'd just not go for exchange in the end. bcos my parents aren't agreeable. not exactly bcos i'm filial. but i'm just cowardly. since when did i dare not to listen to their opinions? sine when did i deviate from the CORRECT path? since when i am brave enough to do things choose things that i really like? jsut like i nv dare to express myself when i am pissed about ppl. just like i want to continue rsphi but can i? i know studies are hell more impt than my happiness, than cca. thats the flat damn truth. face it.
came bk from airport only this morning so slept till afternoon then wake up. yet i want to sleep now. the moment i stare at any kind of notes, the headache just manifest itself. i want to go into the world of tvb dramas, into my dreams, into anything but studies.
and i'll most prob really going to hand in a empty matlab assignment. i can't care anymore.
think the stress is just overwhelming tonight. i'll be better tmr.
我没有你们想象中的那么坚强
我只是擅长伪装 掩饰
yes i am v pissed now. about myself. one more step and i'm gonna break down. seems that this kind of moments are getting more common in my life. uni studies sucks. totally. i desperately think i am in the wrong course. i hate theories. i hate formulas principles book-dead contents. i should have gone to poly.perhaps learn a skill like cooking or baking or photography or design. i would have been much happier. just now my mum just asked if i regret joining this course. what should i say. ugly truth.
was looking at the info from monash and some uk/usa uni. realy want to go for exchange. yet i know its really ex. near 10k thats excluding airfare. when i mention the amount to my mum, she coldly asked why do i have to go? whats good about exchange? obviously she doesn't want me to go. money matters. just like why the insane guy on the news front page who killed his children before suiciding bcos he's in deep debt. watever. money makes the world go round. and round and round until everyone is insane. reason for going exchange: i want to escape from studies. u can S/U the cores for that whole sem. do u know how good that is? i mean i am really struggling. even if i do understnad some of the stuff i am studying, i am doing so with great effort and stress and misery and agony.
sometimes i really just feel like giving up. quit school. its not a matter of whether i can do it. deep down inside i know i can if i work hard i should be able to manage a second upper. but thats not the point, cos i know if i did, i will be v v v unhappy in the process of trying. yet happiness is not all that i shld consider. future, career, money. the world is just so realistic practical.
i'm really afraid i'd just not go for exchange in the end. bcos my parents aren't agreeable. not exactly bcos i'm filial. but i'm just cowardly. since when did i dare not to listen to their opinions? sine when did i deviate from the CORRECT path? since when i am brave enough to do things choose things that i really like? jsut like i nv dare to express myself when i am pissed about ppl. just like i want to continue rsphi but can i? i know studies are hell more impt than my happiness, than cca. thats the flat damn truth. face it.
came bk from airport only this morning so slept till afternoon then wake up. yet i want to sleep now. the moment i stare at any kind of notes, the headache just manifest itself. i want to go into the world of tvb dramas, into my dreams, into anything but studies.
and i'll most prob really going to hand in a empty matlab assignment. i can't care anymore.
think the stress is just overwhelming tonight. i'll be better tmr.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
TIME OF THE YR AGAIN
having a huge headache. guess from watching too much tv and facing the com for too long. havent been v productive since friday nite. ystd went overnight mugging at airport but i didnt even manage to complete 1 tutorial. did a few qn from math, a few from fluids then read and reread my notes w/o really understanding them.
hate to realise time is running. hate to realise i need to study but i cant make myself to. hopefully tmr when the week starts and i stay bk in ntu to mug i will be productive again just like last week.
and the weather is freaky hot it isn't helping.
I'm only happy when watching my tvb drama. finding hapiness from tv. haha how pathetic that is. stress is creeping up my mind, my face, my hair and my body. white hairs pimples headaches bodyaches fatigue nonsense running in my mind feeling unwell mentally angry at the loss of focus distractions frustrations deadlines formulas equations RARRRH
5 dec. i need u here
having a huge headache. guess from watching too much tv and facing the com for too long. havent been v productive since friday nite. ystd went overnight mugging at airport but i didnt even manage to complete 1 tutorial. did a few qn from math, a few from fluids then read and reread my notes w/o really understanding them.
hate to realise time is running. hate to realise i need to study but i cant make myself to. hopefully tmr when the week starts and i stay bk in ntu to mug i will be productive again just like last week.
and the weather is freaky hot it isn't helping.
I'm only happy when watching my tvb drama. finding hapiness from tv. haha how pathetic that is. stress is creeping up my mind, my face, my hair and my body. white hairs pimples headaches bodyaches fatigue nonsense running in my mind feeling unwell mentally angry at the loss of focus distractions frustrations deadlines formulas equations RARRRH
5 dec. i need u here
Friday, November 6, 2009
MUG-
realise all the blog skins i used dun cater for a blog post title. haha so i shall add one above post from now on :)
just reached hm from school at 1am. haha have been mugging everyday in school after lessons. comfortable cos i study in the tut rooms w my friends then can play music and have 5 chairs with tables to myself just to put my stationery, my butt and my legs. no disturbance from weird strangers , i can sit whatever postition i like... feel at home yet not-so-at-home that i can fall asleep. lol. so v effective studying. but problem is it takes 2h bk hm meaning i have to leave school by 9pm. lucky last 2 days got little red car lobang bk so stayed till later. haha if only i have a car myself....
laptop + bed is the worst kind of thing u can have by ur side when u are studying. haha at least for me. thats why now i'm in my room beside my bed and in front of com... i am blogging and loading my hk drama.. haha! sort of to reward myself for last few days' hard work ba. shall sleep after that cos tmr no lab in morning! yuppie! :D
i want exams to be over. i want to go for exchange. i want to understand aerody. i want to have less outbreaks on face and less white hairs. i want to sleep really more more more. i want time to stand still cos its slipping away too fast towards the exams.
i want to be able to want nothing. cos that means i am contented with what i have.which i should be doing.
realise all the blog skins i used dun cater for a blog post title. haha so i shall add one above post from now on :)
just reached hm from school at 1am. haha have been mugging everyday in school after lessons. comfortable cos i study in the tut rooms w my friends then can play music and have 5 chairs with tables to myself just to put my stationery, my butt and my legs. no disturbance from weird strangers , i can sit whatever postition i like... feel at home yet not-so-at-home that i can fall asleep. lol. so v effective studying. but problem is it takes 2h bk hm meaning i have to leave school by 9pm. lucky last 2 days got little red car lobang bk so stayed till later. haha if only i have a car myself....
laptop + bed is the worst kind of thing u can have by ur side when u are studying. haha at least for me. thats why now i'm in my room beside my bed and in front of com... i am blogging and loading my hk drama.. haha! sort of to reward myself for last few days' hard work ba. shall sleep after that cos tmr no lab in morning! yuppie! :D
i want exams to be over. i want to go for exchange. i want to understand aerody. i want to have less outbreaks on face and less white hairs. i want to sleep really more more more. i want time to stand still cos its slipping away too fast towards the exams.
i want to be able to want nothing. cos that means i am contented with what i have.which i should be doing.
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