i shouldn't have.

it must have been purely an coincidence.

envious. its just a nicer way of saying jealous. they mean the same. haha.

i hate the feeling of being envious about what ppl are doing... yet i won't choose to do it when i can because i am a coward. yes, scared of this worried about that. excuses. i think i can churn out excuses for myself as well as how cars are churning out greenhouse gases worldwide. wish i could shut my mind up outside sleeping hours.

rarrh!!!!!!!!!!!

working is tiring. and nowadays my job scope includes being scolded my customers.. and all i can say is 'sorry sorry' when it is none of fault/business. lol.

my schedule are getting fuller... esp with now intense song sign practices these 2 weeks. its getting very difficult to arrange meet ups with friends. :(

i hate it when u forget your promises.
been waiting for a call or even a msg.. that never comes.

Bridge over troubled water

When you're weary, feeling small,
When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all;
I'm on your side. when times get rough
And friends just can't be found,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.

When you're down and out,
When you're on the street,
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you.
Ill take your part.
When darkness comes
And pain is all around,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.

Sail on silvergirl,
Sail on by.
Your time has come to shine.
All your dreams are on their way.
See how they shine.
If you need a friend
Im sailing right behind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.

heard this song played in a pasar malam stall on my way home after work.
the song of you and me. though maybe u have forgotten.

ystd and today was off. went to see my skin doc... got once again, lots of cream to aply for my face which is getting extremely dry although the pimples are clearing. found some white spots on my neck too and got some cream again. today nth much, just tuition. and i'm watching jap serial mr.brain starring takuya kimura. and gues what, little nonya is on my watching-in-progress list too. haha! kind of lag to watch it when the big hoo haas are over... but i like that feeling somewhat... dun like to follow the trend so when the world was reading harry potter i refuse to, gave up 'new moon' halfway thru too, and now, watching something everyone alrdy had. :D

been at home a lot these few days whenever i'm not wokring... and i tend to have naps... so my teddy bear is kind of back into my life... there was this very busy period when i just left it in its place on my bed for dunoe how long... if only people can be teddy bears.. it doesn't mind how long you've been neglecting it, but it's right there for u whenevr u needed it. my bear is like 16 yrs old alrdy.. torn and tattered but still my fav because somehow i feel it knows all my deepest feelings throughout these yrs it has been with me. and looking at it, is like looking into my diary somehow. quite silly right? lol.

the maybe yes maybe no feeling is here again.
dunoe what to answer whenever ppl ask me about it.
i thought it was alrdy a definite 'no' the previous time?
why like this again?

had a bad day. these 4 words just simply explains everything today.

>i was early for work when i reached, went to the toilet bcos of stomache and as a result, was 2 min late for clocking in. 15 min pay gone.
> today is sunday, the crowd is horrendously huge. deduct the wrong amount for a ticket, had to pay $4 to the company right on the spot. great.
>looked so forward to xmas ss outing after work but i was at pasir ris at 630 while they are leaving suntec at 7pm. so didn't meet them.
> went alone to tampines one to walk walk. bought taiwanese chicken cutlet and yes i had to wait for 20min just for that bag of junk fast food.
>went to the arcade trying to vent my anger on time crisis and the stupid card machine spoilt in the middle of my game so i couldn't contine. what the.

am freaking tired.

today my dinner alone cost like my one day's wages! haha but farewell dinner for chua so its worth to splurge. :) bon voyage dear friend and enjoy urself! as usual, today during dinner i didn't talk much. haha gossips and stories and updates about ppl i maybe heard the names b4 but dun know them one... lol. i guess i am kind of odd one out there, but the "unique-ness" has existed since like always so it doesn't really bothers me. haha i just listen on and enjoy laughing tgt with them. it doesn't matter if its a 3+1 combination afterall. :D wore pants, sneakers and t-shirt while the 3 of them wore nice sleeveless tops, shorts with hair and nails and contacts... i need one huge dose of self-confidence one fine day to really dress up. haha

tmr working!!! sunday! and my dad will be sleeping in till the sun is like bright and shiny! hmph! haha but guess i cant complain much. need to earn back that bomb i spent at hanabi tonight. i really hope i am disciplined enough to wake up tmr for the morning jog i had always planned but failed to accomplish. lol!

today i fully understand what these lyrics meant.

曾經以為總會找到　說服自己的答案
情緒卻在風浪平息後　被一通電話打翻

you did not know how much influence you have on me.
and maybe you never will.

started work 3 days ago. admission staff at wild wild wet. first day i stood for 11 hours straight. went home i almost couldn't walk anymore. lol. today is 3rd day and my feet are taking the toil on me alrdy haha!

ystd reach home after work ard 9. and there was no one at home. sis obviously still stuck in camp. and my parents are both not back from work YET. on my way home i was still complaining to myself how tired and hungry i was. but when i reached home to an empty house, it just dawned on me that what is really called HARD EARNED money. thats why today i woke up promptly for work, without any grumbles. every meal on our dining table is not to be taken for granted. i truly can feel why.

working life is so different from studying. there is something called office politics that does not only happen in 'office' jobs only. for my job now, well i enjoyed looking at excited kids coming to play and satisfied smiles on their way out. every staff there are full of smiles because we are afterall doing customer service. but today (mind u its only my 3rd day) i saw the happenings under the wraps.. A dun like B, B dun like C. D ask us to do this but E ask us to that. and then who kena? haha we small fry lo. i am glad i am only part time staff there. i am enjoying the nature of my work (except the free flow of lactic acid in my legs), staying out of the politics then get scolding once a while so ya its still fine with me :)

glad i chose to work non-admin stuff. was thinking should get sth related to my field of study?or at least can aid me in my internship next yr? but now at least i get to see another side of the working world i may nv have a chance next time. life is not just about getting good grades, good job, good salary and rising up the ranks. its about experiencing life the exciting way now because we only live ONCE.

eyelids are closing on me now. haha tmr still got tuition early in the morning. but i shall finish one more episode of my hk drama now. :D

short update here:

officially putting on braces only on 7 july cos my dentist is so booked. before that i've to extract 4 teeth at end of june.

glad the rsphi elections are over. do not have to dilema over whether should i run for centrehead. haha

cant get myself up early in the morning for exercise. slap me pls. i need to be more... aerobic. haha!

work starting on wed. not exactly looking forward to it. lol. but money money money.

chua's leaving for usa soon. hai another away from spore. 3 months plus. not short. but luckily not that long as haiting or fiona. haha

my world revolves ard farrago ppl now i realise. i am determined not to neglect my other friends:D