bad start of the week. there were times i was pissed i really feel like.... i dun know what.
monday morning. i woke up late. had to pack lots of stuff to go bk hall. last min realise i needed to epilate my legs. was totally late for teresa tuition so decided to take taxi which the driver didnt know how to go coldstream ave and wasted my time and money.next, the rain was so heavy i couldnt leave without my laptop getting wet. has to stay at teresa there for 3 hours though i dun mind teaching her extra since her exams are so near. happily decided to tke bus 14 to clementi then change to mrt thinking that it will be faster than walking out to vjc busstop to take 196/7 to bedok then mrt. i was totally WRONG. took 1.5 hours on bus 14 and i didnt even get to clementi. alighted at dover, couldnt get onto 2 trains which were so crowded. grabbed 2 sticks of fishballs as dinner at boon lay interchange, stuck in traffic jam on bus 199. late for sign lang class for half an hour. great. after lesson at 10pm, rush a lousy lab report until 1am. this morning, went to SAC to print my report. paid the money, and printer: NO PAPER.great. ran to Free access lab at south spine. cannot log in cos i engine student not nbs. great. was late for lab lesson. rushed everything so that i can finish this experiment fast and go library print my report. in the end, everyone's report was so complete and professional becos they had the help from seniors. Mine? the kind of standard like i was doing chem h3 in jc. wanted to withdraw money cos i only hav like 5 bucks for dinner and tmr breakfast. atm no money. crap. if i had a punching bag at any of these moments, i'll probably tear it apart.
now after jogging, basketball and badminton, physically tired but less tensed and not pissed alrdy. alone tonight in hall cos tmr got HI meeting. so sian. and my aunt and parents coming to visit me tmr . haha.
almost 20 yrs old= being asked constantly "do you get to knowany guys in uni?", "when will you have a bf?" lol. questions that i have no answers to. just like when u get to 30, ppl start asking when will u get married. haha
kind of dislike myself being so anti-social. i like closing the door and coping myself up in hall. consequence? only know 2 of the many neighbours living next to us. dun really like to go lectures with ppl. esp when i am not really that close to anyone yet. prefer to be a lonesome figure but apparently there are times when i get too lonely. lol. and everyone dun understand how can i be so "ulu" living in hall.....
如果这一秒钟 你想起我的笑容
那时同一秒钟 你浮现我脑海中
如果当寂寞转动
思念是一种痛
亲爱的 没有人比我痛
emo again.
get out of my mind will you?
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
emo-ing now.
possible reasons:
1) just had a farewell gathering with shao ystd and with jasmine today. everyone is flying off to everywhere in the world. fiona's gone to hk too and soon it will be haiting's turn...
2) after reading jael's blog... the part about "feeling too tired to do anything.too lazy to even study. no motivation to concentrate."... so true. and so helpless about it. missing every part of my life in the past....
3) the discussion on relationships.... long-dist, break-ups, those turning amber etc... guess i do mind about that missing gap in my life.
4) songs on my playlist.
5) realisation that i am 1kg heavier after this recess week. :(
Oceans apart, day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice, on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never
how can we say forever
Wherever you go, whatever you do
I will be right here, waiting for you
Whatever it takes, or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
possible reasons:
1) just had a farewell gathering with shao ystd and with jasmine today. everyone is flying off to everywhere in the world. fiona's gone to hk too and soon it will be haiting's turn...
2) after reading jael's blog... the part about "feeling too tired to do anything.too lazy to even study. no motivation to concentrate."... so true. and so helpless about it. missing every part of my life in the past....
3) the discussion on relationships.... long-dist, break-ups, those turning amber etc... guess i do mind about that missing gap in my life.
4) songs on my playlist.
5) realisation that i am 1kg heavier after this recess week. :(
Oceans apart, day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice, on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never
how can we say forever
Wherever you go, whatever you do
I will be right here, waiting for you
Whatever it takes, or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
Thursday, September 25, 2008
back at hall during recess week. sian cos got aero workshop that is boring but compulsory. only good thing is that i have free lunch from the workshop. haha kind of broke and yet i am going out tmr and on sat and on next wed and on next weekend. crap. today went out with chua and tans. like finally. haha went to this pub at holland v. name is wala sth... nice place but maybe cos the place is enclosed and a bit small... i thought the music was a bit too loud. nice songs anyway. and my face turned lobster red after half a glass of german beer even though i was not drunk la. natural reaction of my body even if i were to take just one sip of alcohol. hahas . and i looked embarrassed with that red face and after getting lots of stares on my bus trip and mrt ride back to pulau ntu, i really got embarrassed. lol
i dun have projects to do but lots of tutorials and an irritating lab report to complete. i am totally stuck for computing and physics tutorial... questions looked so foreign. so i only managed econs tut. lab report: need to be around 15 pages based on 3 questions on a physics topic that my only knowledge is from that few pages of theory introduction at the front. and i can only crap out less than 2 pages. HELP!
rather irritated now.
irritated by the homeworks. i dun mind lots of work if i can do them. it's just so irritating when every question u try, u get stuck.
irritated that if i stay in hall, i need to keep going back to the east to give tuition; if i stay in tamp, i need to keep going back pulau ntu for school and cca stuff. andthe cruel fact: it takes 2 hours to travel one direction.
irritated that i want to make more friends but i hate crowds and awkward gatherings with ppl i am not very close to.
irritated that i want a vibrant hall life and uni life but i hate being overly busy or overwhelmed by responsibilities.
irritated that there is only 24 hours a day.
irritated that i cant hear your voice when i miss u.
irritated that i cant sleep when i want to and have to wake up when i dun want to.
irritated by the fact that now in s'pore every shop every restuarant u go, there is a 95 percent chance of being served by a prc. i am not against them but i am against the feeling of as if i am living in china and the situation just gets worse. and i had experiences of having to order my food by translating it to chinese for the waiter in a western restuarant.
irritated that i have weird nightmares about me being overly stressed and going crazy.
irritated that mosquitoes loves me.
irritated that i dun have a car and a licence.
irritated that everyone thinks i have a good lot of chance with a 1:7 gal-guy ratio in my course when no guys give a hoot about my existence.
irritated that i keep wearing that same few clothes to school and cant seem to find anything suitable when i want to buy some more.
irritated that for 19 years, not once did my diet plan succeed.
irritated that there is this paradox of wanting to be alone yet afraid to be alone.
irritated that i am irritated.
i am so tempted to hand in a 2 page lab report. so tempted to think "aiya just get a C lo next report then do better to catch up".
But i won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours
Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find
love love love love
Listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing
We're just one big family
And It's our God-forsaken right to be
loved love loved love loved
So i won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours
i dun have projects to do but lots of tutorials and an irritating lab report to complete. i am totally stuck for computing and physics tutorial... questions looked so foreign. so i only managed econs tut. lab report: need to be around 15 pages based on 3 questions on a physics topic that my only knowledge is from that few pages of theory introduction at the front. and i can only crap out less than 2 pages. HELP!
rather irritated now.
irritated by the homeworks. i dun mind lots of work if i can do them. it's just so irritating when every question u try, u get stuck.
irritated that if i stay in hall, i need to keep going back to the east to give tuition; if i stay in tamp, i need to keep going back pulau ntu for school and cca stuff. andthe cruel fact: it takes 2 hours to travel one direction.
irritated that i want to make more friends but i hate crowds and awkward gatherings with ppl i am not very close to.
irritated that i want a vibrant hall life and uni life but i hate being overly busy or overwhelmed by responsibilities.
irritated that there is only 24 hours a day.
irritated that i cant hear your voice when i miss u.
irritated that i cant sleep when i want to and have to wake up when i dun want to.
irritated by the fact that now in s'pore every shop every restuarant u go, there is a 95 percent chance of being served by a prc. i am not against them but i am against the feeling of as if i am living in china and the situation just gets worse. and i had experiences of having to order my food by translating it to chinese for the waiter in a western restuarant.
irritated that i have weird nightmares about me being overly stressed and going crazy.
irritated that mosquitoes loves me.
irritated that i dun have a car and a licence.
irritated that everyone thinks i have a good lot of chance with a 1:7 gal-guy ratio in my course when no guys give a hoot about my existence.
irritated that i keep wearing that same few clothes to school and cant seem to find anything suitable when i want to buy some more.
irritated that for 19 years, not once did my diet plan succeed.
irritated that there is this paradox of wanting to be alone yet afraid to be alone.
irritated that i am irritated.
i am so tempted to hand in a 2 page lab report. so tempted to think "aiya just get a C lo next report then do better to catch up".
But i won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours
Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find
love love love love
Listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing
We're just one big family
And It's our God-forsaken right to be
loved love loved love loved
So i won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours
Thursday, September 11, 2008
thursday ending soon. had a long long day. very tired and i think someinfluenza virus catching up on me. got a sore throat, some phlegm and slight flu.=( oh well weekend is coming soon! weekend= watch wall.e+go swimming+tuition x 2(because her exams are coming )+nice sleep in my cosy bed+do tutorials.... pros and cons. depends on how i want to see it . haha
oh feels so in need of meet ups with:
1) chua and the tans twins.
2) TCCs. Shao is leaving on 28 sept!!!
3) biao dong and jael. we all study in NTU live NTU eat NTU sleep NTU bathe NTU breathe NTU but no time to meet up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!lol
4) 4h. yep and jas is going overseas on i think 2 oct...
5)wei vin thong. although wejust met up not long ago, but need to meet up again soon before thong shaves his head again!!!
as of above, only (4) is planned. the rest i dun know when.............. lol
shall go shower now. eat med. and hopefully feel better tmr morning.
recently my playlist, alarm tone, ringtone is all kelly clarkson's because of you. hahas
because of you - i don't know how to let anyone else in.
oh feels so in need of meet ups with:
1) chua and the tans twins.
2) TCCs. Shao is leaving on 28 sept!!!
3) biao dong and jael. we all study in NTU live NTU eat NTU sleep NTU bathe NTU breathe NTU but no time to meet up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!lol
4) 4h. yep and jas is going overseas on i think 2 oct...
5)wei vin thong. although wejust met up not long ago, but need to meet up again soon before thong shaves his head again!!!
as of above, only (4) is planned. the rest i dun know when.............. lol
shall go shower now. eat med. and hopefully feel better tmr morning.
recently my playlist, alarm tone, ringtone is all kelly clarkson's because of you. hahas
because of you - i don't know how to let anyone else in.
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