back at hall during recess week. sian cos got aero workshop that is boring but compulsory. only good thing is that i have free lunch from the workshop. haha kind of broke and yet i am going out tmr and on sat and on next wed and on next weekend. crap. today went out with chua and tans. like finally. haha went to this pub at holland v. name is wala sth... nice place but maybe cos the place is enclosed and a bit small... i thought the music was a bit too loud. nice songs anyway. and my face turned lobster red after half a glass of german beer even though i was not drunk la. natural reaction of my body even if i were to take just one sip of alcohol. hahas . and i looked embarrassed with that red face and after getting lots of stares on my bus trip and mrt ride back to pulau ntu, i really got embarrassed. lol

i dun have projects to do but lots of tutorials and an irritating lab report to complete. i am totally stuck for computing and physics tutorial... questions looked so foreign. so i only managed econs tut. lab report: need to be around 15 pages based on 3 questions on a physics topic that my only knowledge is from that few pages of theory introduction at the front. and i can only crap out less than 2 pages. HELP!

rather irritated now.

irritated by the homeworks. i dun mind lots of work if i can do them. it's just so irritating when every question u try, u get stuck.
irritated that if i stay in hall, i need to keep going back to the east to give tuition; if i stay in tamp, i need to keep going back pulau ntu for school and cca stuff. andthe cruel fact: it takes 2 hours to travel one direction.
irritated that i want to make more friends but i hate crowds and awkward gatherings with ppl i am not very close to.
irritated that i want a vibrant hall life and uni life but i hate being overly busy or overwhelmed by responsibilities.
irritated that there is only 24 hours a day.
irritated that i cant hear your voice when i miss u.
irritated that i cant sleep when i want to and have to wake up when i dun want to.
irritated by the fact that now in s'pore every shop every restuarant u go, there is a 95 percent chance of being served by a prc. i am not against them but i am against the feeling of as if i am living in china and the situation just gets worse. and i had experiences of having to order my food by translating it to chinese for the waiter in a western restuarant.
irritated that i have weird nightmares about me being overly stressed and going crazy.
irritated that mosquitoes loves me.
irritated that i dun have a car and a licence.
irritated that everyone thinks i have a good lot of chance with a 1:7 gal-guy ratio in my course when no guys give a hoot about my existence.
irritated that i keep wearing that same few clothes to school and cant seem to find anything suitable when i want to buy some more.
irritated that for 19 years, not once did my diet plan succeed.
irritated that there is this paradox of wanting to be alone yet afraid to be alone.

irritated that i am irritated.

i am so tempted to hand in a 2 page lab report. so tempted to think "aiya just get a C lo next report then do better to catch up".

But i won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours
Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find
love love love love
Listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing
We're just one big family
And It's our God-forsaken right to be
loved love loved love loved
So i won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours