the chicken and egg issue

does trust comes before happiness or happiness before trust? if there is no trust there will not be happiness. but if no happiness to start with, how can one begin to trust? random talks about marriage and relationships in my office with my colleagues (from diff opinions: married, attached and single) and with my mum sparks off random thoughts in me...

And yet of all time : best timing that i got to know that 'it is just a formality" to some people. the issue is distant in the future but it is important. maybe its just a confusion of emotions affecting perspectives but i see a gap growing.. a sign of warning? maybe.

i dun like being busy. but i dislike spare time even more cos my mind takes the chance to run wild. wild into the unknown inflicting fear in me that to others, may be well uncalled for.