not the way we wanted

okay i've finally made a decision: no exchange. ryerson replied, no change in situation. guess the happiest is my mum cos she dont have to worry about me or the money. i'm not as disapointed as i thought i would be. guess i was mentally well prepared the first time i saw that confirmation letter. just that i feel v sad and bad that i cant travel with biao. but everything's settled. have the sudden urge to spend a lot of money. haha please dont stop me cos i need to vent it somewhere. and buying things is a good sign for me who doesn't shop. lol

everything seems to be explainable by science. even human mind there's sth called psycology to analyse it. but i think love should be classified as a supernatural phenomenom. you can't explain that. perhaps becos of the age, i witness many of my friends falling in and out of love. some were hurt really deep , of which some were lucky to find other person to stitch that wound up. others are still bleeding, some constantly reminded by the scars, some were cut open again shortly after the stitch. it hurts the person but also the people around them. i would consider myself lucky. i dont have an open wound, just a bruise that refused to heal but i secretly also dont wish it to heal. sometimes the bruise hurts, sometimes it doesn't, but either way, it's not fatal. i guess it's jsut natural selection, like darwin's theory, the diff is how many scars u got to have before you are fully healed.

hang on, things will work out fine, like i said: cliched but true, let nature take its course.