crying

i've always been someone who cries easily. i've cried while reading a book, so serious that i had to stop, blow my nose and breathe before i can continue every half a page. i've cried so loudly once in a cinema during the show that ppl sitting a few rows in front turned and stared at me. i've cried so hard one night watching drama that i totally couldnt open my eyes the next morning. but recent years i've been crying much less listening to touching stories or watching otuching scenes.. they no longer seem to be able to trigger my tear glands, which i think it's good for my eyes (becos crying too much spoils the eyes) but it's not gd when there's this about-to-cry-but-cannot-tear that uneasy 'sour' feeling up the nose... yucks. haha was watching grey's and had this exact feeling while george 's dad died.

on the other hand, i've been tearing quite a lot on my own.. like at night random moments with overwhelming feelings of all sorts. and i end up tearing which is v stupid. becos most of the time i dont exactly knows what triggered it. lol. but sometimes i just ignore it and seeing on the bright side, it is actually an avenue to release whatever negative energy that's in me.

so i have had this psuedo feeling that i grew stronger, emotionally becos i can control my emotions and crying better. but maybe deep down inside, i'm still more vulnerable than ever? haha i really dont know.  

okay that's rather random. something more interesting? haha eh ok not VERY interesting but  here's it: A's gd friend, B ask her to go shopping with him one random day. and A was free so she said yes. and also becos A was supposed to be over B so it's just a best friends' "date". but still, subconsciously A was v anxious about the 'date' and put on a skirt and heels and contacts everything. to her dismay, B turned up in slippers tshirts bermudas and face unshaved. and A feels really stupid ending up with dead feet due to the heels and extremely awkward fear of 'zao geng-ing' with the skirt.

SO A is NOT going to do such stupid stuff again with B. NEVER.

haha ok seems like the world doesn't want to employ anyone for admin for less than 3 months. still jobless as the days go by... today woke up ,vacuum,mopped the floor,dust-clean the furniture, folded the clothes, hand-washed some other clothes, watched 2 episodes of grey's now it's time to go hang another batch of laundry .. wonder why do we ahve so much laundry to do with only3 ppl at home... :(