emo-ing now. =(
jael said like leads to fling, lust leads to sex, love leads to marriage. i think love may or may not lead to marriage, but marriage doesnt guarantee love. a happy family needs to have 3 kinds of healthy relationships: husband-wife, parent-children,between siblings.
love makes u believe in happily ever after
makes u promise to make it last forever
but very often it doesnt
what can u do when ur mother tries to work herself to exhuastion to spite your father while ur father eats everything unhealthy in sight when he is sick just to spite her back?
Friday, June 20, 2008
Saturday, June 14, 2008
i bought my laptop!!!!!!!!!!!!! ystd at pc fair. not as crowded as i thought. and guess i met who??? 3 musketeers from my workplace.. (p.s.one of them is jerry yen, haha) anyways, wanted to buy fujitsu. cos a lot of ppl tell me its good. but then their notebooks more ex for comparable specs. so in the end i went for compaq... not bad for $1279... 3 yr warranty... not too heavy... the RAm, processor hard disk... haha i not very sure but after comparing all the other brands with similar specs/price.. i think i made a wise decision? haha my logic: don't compare since u alrdy make a decision or u are just forcing yourself to regret. it's wiser to maximise /make good use of ur decision! =) i guess that applies for life too? =)
cant wait for uni/hostel life to start!
if i wasn't meant to fly that kite,
please do not give me that prefect weather.
cant wait for uni/hostel life to start!
if i wasn't meant to fly that kite,
please do not give me that prefect weather.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
i just recieved the rejection letter from SPF. didnt come as a surprise.
i was walking in a desert
hot
dry
thirsty
then i thought i saw
yes, an oasis
crystal clear
refreshing
just what i needed
i walked and walked
i was so near to it
i knew i was going to get it
or at least thats why others told me
that faithful mouthful of water
yet when i was less than a foot away
a sandstorm
my vision was blurred
i stayed clam
and waited
and waited
till the fog cleared
and instead of the oasis
i saw
endless miles of
sand
heat
and thirst
once again
disappointment is an understatement.
but oh well.
no water
i'll go for some camel milk?
=)
i was walking in a desert
hot
dry
thirsty
then i thought i saw
yes, an oasis
crystal clear
refreshing
just what i needed
i walked and walked
i was so near to it
i knew i was going to get it
or at least thats why others told me
that faithful mouthful of water
yet when i was less than a foot away
a sandstorm
my vision was blurred
i stayed clam
and waited
and waited
till the fog cleared
and instead of the oasis
i saw
endless miles of
sand
heat
and thirst
once again
disappointment is an understatement.
but oh well.
no water
i'll go for some camel milk?
=)
it's late into the night. and i am surprisely still awake. just reach home at 12 from a long chatting session at esplanade. didnt wanted to go home but apparently i can't.
dawn's friend who applied for SPF scholarship got it alrdy. 1st week of june. as promised. yet i check my inbox and letterbox everyday. no news. given the small number of scholarships they grant (like 6-7 ppl only), i suppose they do not need to send out emails in batches. i was 60% confident i can get it. now its 98% confident i did not get it. the 1 % is belief in my own abilities. the other 1% depends on fate/luck. it really sucks thinking about it. life was almost going to be perfect if i got it. hostel, tuition fees, living allowance, book and computer allowance , sponsorship for exchange prog. all paid for. all i needed was maybe teach some tuition for additional personal expenses. the consequences of not getting it: all the fees and living allowances including hostel is going to cost a bomb. definitely have to borrow from bank, which ties u to a debt. maybe i will need to teach more tuition? and my mum will have to continue slogging for one of her cleaning part-time job cos we need that income. even if i am selected for exchange prog, still need to fight for other scholarhsip/bursary before i can go. i need to work doubly triply hard to get all the other bursaries available during my 4 yr in NTU. seriously the difference is huge. i am still waiting for that final confirmation from SPF. meanwhile, pray hard and cross my fingers. it's the most important outcome in my life now.
i flew a kite for very long.
when the wind was not too strong
but still flying high and nice.
yet soon the clouds loom in
and the wind turn violent.
i fought hard
tugged at it
i thought of holding on forever.
but it's tough.
and tiring.
I chose to let go.
unwilling but yes, i let it go.
Or at least i thought i did.
Just when i was almost over it,
the kite reappeared right in front of me.
a bit torn and tattered.
but still my favourite.
i tried to look away
ignore it
tell myself to just walk away.
in the end, i picked it up
and once again kept it
right inside my cabinet,
waiting
till the day i dare to fly it again.
dawn's friend who applied for SPF scholarship got it alrdy. 1st week of june. as promised. yet i check my inbox and letterbox everyday. no news. given the small number of scholarships they grant (like 6-7 ppl only), i suppose they do not need to send out emails in batches. i was 60% confident i can get it. now its 98% confident i did not get it. the 1 % is belief in my own abilities. the other 1% depends on fate/luck. it really sucks thinking about it. life was almost going to be perfect if i got it. hostel, tuition fees, living allowance, book and computer allowance , sponsorship for exchange prog. all paid for. all i needed was maybe teach some tuition for additional personal expenses. the consequences of not getting it: all the fees and living allowances including hostel is going to cost a bomb. definitely have to borrow from bank, which ties u to a debt. maybe i will need to teach more tuition? and my mum will have to continue slogging for one of her cleaning part-time job cos we need that income. even if i am selected for exchange prog, still need to fight for other scholarhsip/bursary before i can go. i need to work doubly triply hard to get all the other bursaries available during my 4 yr in NTU. seriously the difference is huge. i am still waiting for that final confirmation from SPF. meanwhile, pray hard and cross my fingers. it's the most important outcome in my life now.
i flew a kite for very long.
when the wind was not too strong
but still flying high and nice.
yet soon the clouds loom in
and the wind turn violent.
i fought hard
tugged at it
i thought of holding on forever.
but it's tough.
and tiring.
I chose to let go.
unwilling but yes, i let it go.
Or at least i thought i did.
Just when i was almost over it,
the kite reappeared right in front of me.
a bit torn and tattered.
but still my favourite.
i tried to look away
ignore it
tell myself to just walk away.
in the end, i picked it up
and once again kept it
right inside my cabinet,
waiting
till the day i dare to fly it again.
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