me myself and i

rested at home today again. guess tmr gotta back to work :( haha nvm 1.5 more weeks to go! gonna have some free time in aug.. minus away the short trip to batam. really would like to do something, for myself. like enrich myself... literallly learn sth or psycologially enrich myself. like pick up a real hobby and follow thru it. photography, drawing and baking has been on my list for long.. but nv did i really invest my time money and energy to truly fulfil it. maybe now it's time. oh and jh suggest to learn guitar.. as a cca or sth when schl reopens. tempting but i'm not so sure i wanna join a new cca. just like astro.. i may end up doing things i dont want to and that's not gd. i've gotten over the fact my exchange is cancelled. it's sort of fated.. like from whether i shld apply to waiting for acceptance letter there's been a lot of obstacles and maybe this is what it meant to be. i just feel this real urge to do sth for myself. to do sth i really really really want to. without caring about objections from parents or constraints by money or time or any kind of distractions whatsoeva. but there's so many things to choose from i dont know what i shld start with. haha shall slowly think thru it :)

oh anyway, i've thought thru and HE is really going to be a thing of the past. really this time (or so i hope). i guess i'm not really THAT into him afterall, but it's been so long it's become a habit or addiction of mine. and it's time to kick that habit. haha. if i dont chase him out of my heart/mind, i think i'll nv get the chance to find the right one. yup i shld stop thinking about him and start thinking about myself :)