scaringly indifferent

music playing now: Five For Fighting's album - "Slice" 

results! every sem this night there seems to be slightly more ppl on msn, clicking that faithful button just right after midnight, crossing their fingers, closing their eyes, racing hearts then *poof* the truth lies in front of u. some may rejoice, some relieved, or disappointed or sad... those who didn't do well  start to either wallow, cry, reget and/or blame thyself & dont want to talk to ppl who did well. for those who worked their ass off and got the shiny reward they deserved, will rejoice, but also feel awkward when facing those who didn't.

we as students, have gone thru this process since we are young, very young, but old enough to know ABC123. test and exams are part and parcels of our life, we can't avoid. and we must not avoid. because without it, nobody can distinguish the smart from the not-so-smart. without it, how do we know if the doctors (sorry thats the first thing that came to my mind. side effect from grey's anatomy) we put our lives into are qualified to do so? without it, there will be no way of telling who deserve to slog all day for a pathetic pay from those who sit in offices and can splurge on LVs or prada.

sidetrack a bit: this song's really nice. "chances" ok thats v random.

so we've accepted that examinations are part of our life. i've too. having survived past that 'ugly times' recently, my results are considered  rather decent. (okay 'ugly' is an understatement becos that period was  really harder than u can imagine. u really dont know) i've no intention of rejoicing just becos its better than i expected or my overall gpa still stays fine. neither have i any intention to cry my hearts out, blame myself and wallow in regret just becos i know i could do better (or at least i think so). there's all this zen around me that prevents me from being emotional or anything. almost scaringly indifferent i am. i only know what happened happened. and i dont feel like thinking about what was done badly, what should have done better, what'swrong with me or even what lies ahead.  

i'm just waiting for my ryerson letter to come so i can start planning some stuff. i need to get a job seriously. i am still overeating though it's alrdy post post-exams but i dont really care. i'm just really bored. but contented. happy. and i'm determined to let nothing change that.:)

new found love: five for fighting:)