crossroads.

woah. so long nv blog. 0800-1800 at work. monday night tuition. the rest of the time sleep eat watch tv. officially a crouch potato. my tummy is growing and growing and growing.......

the wait for results finally over. anxiety gone. but frustration followed. i know one thousand and one people will hate me out there. whats there to worry when you have such good results? yeah i know. but when you are rich doesnt mean you are happy. you must know what you want. then u can know how to spend the money.. i want to be a police officer. serious. but any uni policing course for me to take? and obviously i shouldnt skip uni just enter the police academy with A levels results rite. so i have to consider and consider and consider. the course i am going to take is more of a second route if i realise i am not suitable for police after i work.

my mum dun understand my dilema. "take business lor. can make money" " 'take science lo. you good at science mah" "take accountancy lor. sure got job one. " "take humanities lor. i see the dunoe-who's son like very easy to study leh" and when i sort of decided on engineering, she thinks i will only have a good future if i take aerospace cos whichever aunties say its hot and got good prospect. what am i suppose to say. given a grad with pass degree in aerospace and another with first class honours in mechanical engi, who do you think will be better sought after? its not just about how popular the course is. you need to do well that matters too. its not in the market when there is no fish then u buy prawn for dinner tonight. its also not you buy prawn just because its cheap or you eat fish today just because its fresh. job prospects, own ability, interest... everything is important so u really have to consider every aspect of it. not just base your decision on one sole good aspect of it.

sometimes i do envy my sister. she has the guts i dun have. she has the huge ambition of being the best among the best. she wants to study political science. i settle for the old time fav engineering. she wants to go UCL. i chose the ones at Boon Lay and Kent Ridge. she wants to be an airforce pilot, best of the best. I will seriously be contented with a tiny police rank chasing and heaving breathlessly after a thief. haha people say i have the grades. yeah but not the guts to be the 'best' they think i will be.

another crossroad in life. i know there will be many more to come as we add more and more '1's to our age....but right now, 19 years old. not old not young. mature but not mature. this is the biggest thing in my life NOW. NOW. THINK HARD BEFORE APRIL'S FOOL.